Sunday, August 30
Wednesday, August 12
He could not see her eyes. Her face was searching for something in the sand. Her toes were making some random shapes on it. And time to time, the waves cleared whatever she tried to draw, slowly and calmly. The birds were flying towards to horizon. There was no chirping. Just flying steadily, carrying grief. There was no breeze at all. The people who were there on beach seemed emotionless. The sea itself seemed tired. The sun looked dim. One more look at her. She is still sitting keeping her face down. He could see her lips trembling, her fingers restless. Her hair was covering her cheeks. A deep sigh!
He swam through his thoughts. How the hell I will convince her? Can she live without me? Will she smile again? Yeah, but this is good for her. Pain at this stage will be better for her. If she can wipe out all our memories, it’s better for her. Let her find time to get out of me. Let her start hating me. After all I am breaking a divine relationship, without giving much of reasons. But its fine. She will recover from this. She will learn to live without me. He wanted to say a lot. But words stuck somewhere down his throat. He could sense his heartbeats skipping, knees weakening, stomach contracting.
“Goodbye Veda. Wish you the best in your life, the best man, the best family, the best everything. We were not meant to be together. It will be good if we stop everything over here. There is a great life ahead for you. Just understand, he paused, we were not destined to be together”
She didn’t say anything. A deep sigh, again.
“But why Avneep? You never loved me or what? Where did we go wrong. What about our dreams? What about our…” She sobbed. She raised her face. He could see her eyes. It was moist. She fumbled. Tears were almost trying to escape from her eyes.
“There is no answer to your why. This has to happen. There is no way out. I had lots of thoughts. I fought with my inner self. Let’s not discuss about it much. Rather I don’t want to. As you said, maybe I am cruel. Let it be like that.” He felt like stabbing himself. It started drizzling. Rain drops got bigger and bigger. She was getting drenched. She always looks beautiful with wet hair, he thought. He always loved her face covered with rain drops.
He turned back. Took all the courage, he walked and walked. He wanted to run. He could sense his legs getting limp. He wished to go back and hold her hands. Burry her under his arms and hold the warmth intact. He wanted to wrap her face with his palms. Kiss her eternally. Feel her fragrance. He wanted to cry. And he did. The rain drops got mixed with his tears. He dared not to look back. He didn’t want to see her standing helplessly. He hoped she be strong.
He still can’t memorize the name of the cancer he was subjected to.
The only thing he knew was, there is no return.