I Will Miss You...

“I miss you. You have the best of all in this world. I am always there for you if you need me! I will always be smiling and cheerful the way you wanted. I am having my tears while typing this. Keep smiling and have a rocking life. Love and luck will always be with you. Always yours…”

He clicked the button to reply. Thoughts crossed his mind. Meaningless words they were he felt. She even doesn't know what I want in my life. She never knew. Or maybe, if she knew, she would have been with me not these words. When she went for what she wanted, she put up a great face of showering love. But what love, if it’s not felt? He deleted the draft message he started to type. From his pockets he took the music device and selected his favorite playlist. The music started and he put on his earphones.

He looked at the sky. It seemed very near to him. The evening looked beautiful. The city was dressed up with lights all over. There was a small breeze which ruffled his hair, as though it wanted to whisper something inside his ears. The red sun which was almost going down was shining at its best, something like the flame before it goes off. Did it too wanted to say something to him? God knows! He was not able to decipher the signs. All he knew was, on the list of innumerable acts he had weaved in the frame he had build in his mind, standing and witness the sun go down, the birds fly, the lights being lit in every building and escaping through the windows standing on this terrace so high was something on top; with her it was!

He stared blank at the sky. The clouds were passing nearby!  Flocks of birds were going back their home. He felt they were saying good-bye’s to him. Heaven seemed very near to him. Down many blocks of concrete building, people were walking and seemed like dots. Hordes of cars pacing to their own destinations made him realize everybody was busy with their own life. He took a deep breath. The music was going on. Few more moments and then freedom; a real good fly, he thought.

* **

People were gathering. All wore a shock! He opened his eyes. People were staring at him, still in shock. I should leave before the crowd becomes more, he thought. He got up slowly and became a part of the crowd. It is when actually he saw it. The motionless body of his, lying there in a pool of blood.

He looked back. He wore a smile but a fake one. The people who were checking the body that he left over there were confused what to do. It was still bleeding and the blood streams were flowing happily as if they were freed. Someone was calling the police. Someone just picked up the mobile that was lying few meters far away in the hope they could call someone near and dear to the deceased body. The stranger read the message she sent which was open. Gloominess shadowed his face. “She does not know she never was with him when he wanted her”, the stranger said and kept the mobile near to the body; the body he left for the world. To cry for, to sympathize with, to condemn with!

He started walking, knowing not where to head. “Just keep walking”, he told himself, for once he felt free; and happy. Into a new life! Own life, where no one is to bother. Free of emotions, free of dreams and free of love. Free of notions, free of worldly guileless, free of fake love’s which all just wrapped in words not acts, free of expectations, free of life. He just started his wandering, just as a soul; without the baggage of a body. One last thought crossed his mind. At some corner she will be happy thinking he is fine and living a great life chasing his dreams. Let her be at peace, since she doesn’t know what the body did to the hurt soul. Let her live on her fancy land.

‘Groovy kind of love’ was still playing on his music device, left near to his body. Peace. 

     ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Special Notice: The author doesn't advocate suicide, its just a story. Suicide is never a solution for any problems. The story only shows a case, needless to say, not to highlight anything bad.

Stress...

Give me that stare now
Your eyebrows raised and shaped
Wide smile on your lips

Those dimples round and deep
Your cheeks rosy; and innocent
Sparkles in your eyes

Just hug me forever
So that i feel real bliss
All my stress vanished



Form of Poetry : Haiku / Senryu

Speeding..Nowhere...!!

He was standing there alone. Lost in the crowd. People were running here and there. On the streets cars and motorbikes were honking and speeding away. Everyone rushing towards their destination, busy with their own activities...

A 30-some with a velvet handbag stepping into a mall, a school kid waving hands, an elderly couple, hordes of 20-some couples, a street vendor selling 'vada pavs' to his customers, a happy customer enjoying the 'paani puri', a college kid talking on phone having parked his bike to the gang way, so on and so forth...

He was also in a rush. But he sensed he is not like everyone else over there.

Yeah, most of them wore a smile.

Fire...

At first, it was Fire of love...
It grew in ourselves and flamed our passions and dreams!
A fire to love, care and fight for the love.

Later, it was Fire of words...
It grew in ourselves and distanced our stance!
A fire to burn, fight and hate the love.

Now, it is Fire of destruction...
It grew on its own and burnt our lives!
A fire which purified all mistakes and burnt our love.

Fire, it is...

PS: An attempt to the Sunday Scribblings Prompt

Care...

She woke up from her sleep. Her nose was blocked and throat was paining. He had already left for office. She gave him a call.

"Hello", she said, in a broken voice.

"Honey, have some medicine, food and sleep for a while too. You will be all fine", he quipped.

Sometimes, words shows it all; she thought.

Damn this...

She heard him calling her name. She looked everywhere. She could see huge crowd spread over but not him. She walked ahead.

"Suzzanne", the voice was near. She turned back and saw him slowly reaching to her, with his hands wide open yearning for her hug. And someone blocked the view.

She woke up. Damn, this dream!

Free Bird...

A mail popped up on her laptop.

"We have gone too far, opposite, enough not to return. We both tried, together, enough to come back. Its time, we should stop hurting each other; be in pain forever. Lets remain the distant. You are a free bird. Good luck"

"Same to you", she replied.

Gone Are...

Gone are those days, sweet,

When we used to die to run out of office and meet at that place,

shaded with tree's and wrenched benches..!!

Gone are those days...

Gone are those days, sweet,

When I stand besides you watching you talk to your friends

and the breeze gets me a share of your smell!!

Gone are those days..!!

Gone are those days, sweet,

When you sat behind me, clutching onto me tight so that

Nothing can make both of us apart..!!

Gone are those days...!!

Gone are those days, sweet,

When I used to stare at your dimple smiles which;

Gradually grew into beautiful eternal laughter’s..!!

Gone are the days...!!

Gone are the days, sweet,

When we were never tired off saying 'I love you' to

each other through our eyes, lips and words..!!

Gone are the days..!!

Gone are the days, sweet,

When I waited outside your place, impatient, till you came out,

To get the first glance of you and your smile..!!

Gone are the days..!!

Gone are the days, sweet,

When my palms  couldn't stop run through your softened cheeks and earlobes,

Sensing the warmth in you..!!

Gone are the days..!     

Gone are those days, sweet,

When I slept on your lap like a kid, knowing that your fingers will caress my hair;              

 making me sleep sound..!!

Gone are those days..!!

Gone are those days, sweet,

When I used to watch you endlessly, just watching your actions and

the way you made those faces..!!

Gone are those days..!!

Gone are those days, sweet,

When we spoke endlessly about the ourselves, our future, our life together

and even our kids..!!

Gone are those days..!!

Gone are those days, sweet,

When I felt every moment spend with you was not enough

and yearned for more and more..!!

Gone are those days..!!

And now are those days, sweet,

When i miss you every moment, your laughter, your smiles,

your presence and you, My Love..!!
And yeah, now are the days..!!

All Alone...

I was all alone
Sea waves touching my feet

I was all alone
an ocean relaxing in front of me
beautiful and feminine

I was all alone
serene skies with no limits
brightest clouds, scattered throughout
migrating birds, thousands of them, passing by

I was all alone
sea shells, scattered
making a pattern on the beach
giving me company

I was all alone
thoughts rushing 
in one aspect, in one direction
letting heart to beat fast

I was all alone
missing her smile
her touch and her stare

I was all alone,
Sweet, I was all alone...

It Was Raining...

-->

It was raining

In a crowd,

When our eyes met.

It was raining

On the beach,

When he proposed; blissfully.

It was raining

Our first kiss; crisp

When the rain dripped through our lips

It was raining

Seeing the skies above,

When we made love; eternal.

It was raining

My eyes; teary

When he said bye to me

Forever…

Fast...

-->

Their lips locked. Full and tender lips, he thought. He could sense her heartbeats on his chest and fingers rolling over his hair. Placing his hands on her waist, 32 maybe, he thought. He moved his palm upwards from waistline. Is it fast, he thought and then slowed? She broke her kiss.

She said, “Fast”

Trap

It’s almost a year, no; to be precise, day after tomorrow, its exactly one year. Didn’t even realize how days went by.

We will be celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary. He seems to be happy. I should also be happy, or not; I surpassed five years.

From the day I got into the marriage trap.

Love...

Feeling low, down with few pegs
Still, it never dies
My love, for single malt whisky

Missing...

Four days she was not there
Missed her, completely
And then she came, damn!!

.

Twinkle...

“These days your number of calls had reduced” She said in a grinned voice while resting her head on his chest. She tightened her grip around him. A deep sigh followed.

He was still reading the messages unread from his blackberry.

“You don’t even keep my messages in your mobile. Earlier you used to keep all my lovey-dovey messages send by me. Nowadays since I am always available with you, you don’t even recognize my existence.”

He kept the mobile aside. Looked at her and winked. “It doesn’t mean that my love for you has ceased.”

“No, I am not saying that. But earlier I was there always in your words, deeds and everywhere. When we used to be with friends, your eyes followed me. When we used to be on dates, your stares never stopped. But now, after marriage, after so many years..I don’t feel it”

He smiled, his natural smile.

“So you think you are not there in my thoughts and words?”

“mmm…Yeah, atleast I cant see it or feel it. Oh! Am so sad..” She clutched him tightly.

He took her face and stared straight onto her eyes.

“Cant you see the twinkle in my eyes, sweet? “

“mmmm…” lazily she answered. She always loved his eyes.

“That’s you honey; the twinkle.”

The world seemed brighter for her. A gentle smile, a tight hug, Life is a bliss..!!

Revengeful Lust...

In every fashion-freak-low-waist-jeans-tight-top girl he can see those cunning eyes. Every smile they bore was coy about their intentions. He could sense the venom that can destroy the mankind entirely. Woman, according to him is a destroyer as much as she is famed to be a creator.

It’s almost two years since Richa had left him. The frustration had never deceased from him. He always used to think where he went wrong? A three year courtship was something that had only good memories except by which the way it ended. It was filled with everything. Dating, Pubbing, Clubbing and those wild days in bed. She used to brag about him in those early years but at the end without any reason she got vanished. The last thing he heard about her is that she is settled in London and had mothered a baby girl.

The beach seemed very crowded today. He stared blank towards the street. Hundreds of people are parading in all directions. His eyes were wandering aimless. There were children, young couples, teenagers, elderly people; of all kind and varieties. Beautiful girls with curly hairs, silky and rough hairs were meandering here and there. He tossed his eyes everywhere frantically this time without any intention of finding anyone in particular.

That is when he saw a group of girls standing near the coffee shop beside the road adjacent to the beach. A grin broke from his face. Approaching them was not a difficult task since he had mastered the art of throwing ‘one-liners’ at chicks and befriending them. That became his forte, something polished to perfect after he was dumped by Richa. As usual he got clicked and the coffee was getting tastier for everyone. It took only half an hour for him to spot the special one from them.

Two days later he got an instant message from her. Gratified with the result of the play he gamed on the coffee shop he took his keys and in a minute he was on his way to her flat. She seemed to be alone and was covering a mask of loneliness, as he expected. Wearing a loose t-shirt and a knee length skirt she got him a cup of juice and few eatables.

It was the second time clock belled after his arrival. Both were sitting very close, as close as that both could feel the heat of their breaths. Her bosoms looked perfect, same as those which always lingered on his mind. Every breath of hers heaved her chest rhythmically. The low waist skirt she had worn made it all easy. The manhood, fuming lava inside him, bribed his fingers to cruise through her curves.

He felt an internal sensation fingering his carnal lascivious nerves. In all girls he slept with; he saw Richa's face.

Half an hour of 'slave-master' games.When it was all over, wiping out the sweat from forehead he got into the bathroom for a shower. Somewhere he had read there is nothing great like having a smoke after sex. But he preferred this way. He believed his sins are been washed out under that shower of chilled water sprinkles. She lay there in her birth suit, holding her paced breath flow, each cell of her body still relishing the state of elysium he had rendered to her.

He did his dressing part. Lit one cigarette and just walked out, not even staring at her once. A wild ecstasy overwhelmed him. One more 'Richa' is being preyed.

A revenge for what Richa did to him.
After all Richa had left him complaining of not satisfying her needs. She was very particular about those needs. And he was very naive then.
A lusty revenge.

Yeah, this gave him the wildest kick; even better than an orgasm.

Walking On The Beach...

-->

Shaun walked aimlessly. The brisk wind was playing with his hair. His steps were getting muddled with the sand beneath. The rubber slipper he was wearing was trying to get out of the clutch of fingers.

‘Sir, please buy one ice cream.’

He looked back. A thin bare chested boy was standing with a box full of ice creams. Out of pity Shaun purchased one ice cream. In between his leaking nose and lower lip there came a smile, almost! Without a time waste he hurried to his next prospective customers. He was trying hard to manage the big box in his hands together with his ragged trouser. Seeing the boy going happy two beggars approached Shaun.

‘Sir, didn’t have food since long’

Their faces were complimenting each other. Seems they were sisters or maybe mother and daughter. Their eyes were hunger-stricken. Shaun looked at his ice cream and then without a second though he handed it over to the younger girl. They were not that happy with his gesture and asked for some pennies. But then by that time Shaun had moved ahead.

He could see lots of kids playing on the beach. Few were building castles with sand. The naughty ones will wait till the castle is on half way to break them to ground. Few kids were playing ‘catch-me-if-you-can’ with the tides. A smile came to his mind. He always had loved kids. He always had adored their innocence. He always had envied their ‘tension-free’ life.

The sun was half dipped in the ocean, looking bright red. The horizon looked blood red with a touch of golden streaks. Few migrating birds added beauty to the picturesque view. While enjoying the sight Shaun’s eyes got locked at a couple. Never bothered about the surroundings, they were busy with themselves. The woman was holding his hands tight and the only thing they could see were each others eyes. The silence between them seemed to add the romance between them. Then slowly their lips met, explored each others, and then that turned onto a wild kiss. Her fingers ran through his hair and his hands through her back.

Shaun stared them for few moments and then headed towards where his car is parked. The sun had almost gone under the vastness of the ocean. His face was searching for someone. That is when he noticed an elderly couple chatting. They were older by how many years, he couldn’t guess, but the freshness in their faces which was overflowing made him understand how much they were in love with each other. The old lady was helping her partner to walk with his ‘walking-stick’

‘How long had you been married?’ Out of curiosity Shaun asked them. At first the couple stared at him confused. Then the old man said, ‘55 years’ and kissed on her cheeks, gently. Shaun saw that she still was blushing. He stood motionless. The couple walked away. He stared at them endlessly.

The reality stuck him then suddenly

The final hearing of his divorce case is to be benched tomorrow.

Is there any comeback…

He walked slowly, aimlessly… Shattered…!!

Thirst...

-->

Sunrays peeping through the broken glass of window were already hot enough. He got up from the bed, clasping his forehead with fingers; terrible hangover and a dry throat. She was lying next to him, sleeping. He headed to kitchen, opened the fridge and found no water. Damn!

Settled for a bottle of chilled beer!!

Mute...

--> -->

"I hate her. How dare she comment on the way i walked on the park. I never said anything of that sort to her. Her kid was so aggressive with ours. Still i didnt say anything. Then how come she got the guts to talk about me.”

“After that she was complaining about the car parking space we are sharing with them. She didn’t like it when my brother parked his bike over there. How dare she say that? Had we complained when her sister-in-law brought her brand new car and parked it in our slot? No! How inconsiderate she is.”

“While we were returning back she was flaunting her new top her husband Kiran got for her. She claims it to be from London. I found it very cheap of her saying that. I had never mentioned to her that you bring me gold ornaments from Dubai and all. Infact I didn’t even tell her you got the carpet from Iraq. I have the decency not to speak loud about our purchases and all in public.”

“Are you listening?” Rekha stopped to take a deep breath. He shook his head and again dived into the paragraph he was reading from the book.

“She had a fight with her mother-in-law yesterday. While they were cooking something together, her mother-in-law had put some extra mirchi in the dish which she didn’t like. She says her husband ever liked it that way. So she had a fight with her mother-in-law. She don’t know even how to respect elders. After all she should consider she is talking to her own husbands mother na.”

Rekha took another pause. Raj stared at her through his glasses. She was busy arranging the newspapers in the shelf.

“I never liked her from the starting itself. But what can I do. She needs me all the time for going anywhere. If she wants to go the market she needs me to bargain, if she goes to the shop she needs me to shop. For that matter if she needs to take her lingerie also, she wants me to accompany her.”

“I enjoy shopping, but what I don’t enjoy is her talks. She keeps on blabbering not thinking that the other person too needs to talk. She never gives that space. I feel so suffocated while going with her.”

“Then why you are going with her.” Raj intervened. “You should have…”

Rekha interrupted, “ Even I need to go out. So there is no one in this colony with whom I can go like that. But that doesn’t mean she can say anything to me.”

He wished, he had a 'MUTE' button on women...!!

55 - I Danced...

The moon rose up high
And showered its silver sparkle
It danced in joy with the stars
The air felt misty and light
We danced happily on the terrace…

Beer in my left hand and she on right
We tangoed to bliss with a kiss

Next, it was a free fall from terrace…
RIP- to her…