Vulture Stares...

Why the hell on earth they are staring at my sister, he thought.

It was her summer vacation. It’s after two years that she had come to her hometown. She was pretty much excited. The calm city was very beautiful than her current city, where all kind of pollution drains you out. Here the number of vehicles will be the same, but still, there is no hurry-burry on roads. She wanted to roam around. She wanted to enjoy the breeze of her city, enjoy the hustle-bustle of the city crowd, wanted to go to the local bakery and have pastries, enjoy the innocence of the people out there. And all these reasons were enough for him to take her out for a ride.

Parking the bike they decided to stroll through the pathways of the city. She was very happy to be back and it showed in her glowing eyes. The city seemed to be different. All in a sudden, he felt strange. He could sense more eyes prying on them. He started wondering. He felt the atmosphere fill with some particular kind of suffocating air. He looked around.

He saw many eyes following them. From those who were standing at the bus-stop they passed by, the shop keeper along the road side, the middle aged guy standing near a magazine shop, the group of youngsters gathered around the corner; everyone seemed to watch only them, but only them.

A flash! Suddenly he realised the reason for the extra attention. He saw it in the eyes of the shop keeper; he saw it in the eyes of the bespectacled uncle-type person standing with a cigarette, he saw it in the eyes of the rag picker; he saw it in the eyes of the bald headed ‘gentle man’ standing with his wife and he saw it in the college going students. He could sense the fetish air surrounding them.

He realised his little sister is a grown up woman. She is very attractive, enough to get everyone’s attention. But, she was well covered. She hasn’t left any chance for the voyeur to set his eyes upon. That was a quality she had imbibed from childhood. She takes care not to give any provocative steps while she is out. But still, he was disturbed; the stares of those strangers were unavoidable. Those stares of hunger were aiming at her. He felt like screaming, “What the bloody fcuk do you guys want? Don’t you have any such specimen at your home?"

He wanted to speed away from there. But the vultures were all around. Damn this world! Life is not all about woman and their flesh. Enjoy the beauty in a descent way. Everyone enjoys getting that attention. But, definitely not such a vulgar way is expected. And this was the first time he was ashamed to be called a 'Man'

Alarm..

She lie down there besides her phone meanwhile the clock alarmed her the time.
The mobile buzzed aloud, which eventually went into Snooze mode. She held the mobile in her hand. Though half sleepy, she was staring at the mobile with her half opened eyes. She felt as if her eyelids were glued to each other.


Five minutes passed by. The mobile buzzed again. She checked the screen. “Time to wake up”, the remainder read. She kept the phone on the table besides her bed.


Two seconds, the mobile buzzed again. It was a ring tone.
She took the mobile, this time with a smile on her lips.
“Good morning”, she said lazily, yet shying herself away.
Her eyes still closed, she came out the blanket and headed towards the bathroom


The mobile was sandwiched between her shoulder and her ears.
She is routine to that call of his.
Her Alarm!!


********************************************************


He stops the alarm in the time piece. He dozes off again. The mobile alarm cries. Cursing the time he checks the mobile. “Call her”, the message read. He gets the mobile and slips into the blanket. Lazily, he dials the speed dial number. Before the second ring someone answered from the other side. A sweet good morning came from the mobile. “Yeah, good morning honey. Get up and study for your exam”. In two minutes he hanged up the phone. And he never bothered to keep the mobile back. It was so comfortable to be inside a blanket, that too during these winter mornings.

The Alarm!!

Writers Dilemma...

He was frantically looking here and there.


The whole bedroom was messed up. His bed lay there messed. The pillows piled up. The Blankets were crumbled. Two magazines and a copy of "The Maximum City" were lying on the bed. He checked for it in between the pages. The table beside his bed was helplessly flooded with empty deodorant’s and perfume bottles. Some coins were lying here and there. Lots of hotel bills and petrol bills lie there; some visiting cards here and there. He checked all over again. He was demented with frustration when he couldn’t find the 'note' he had left yesterday night.


He checked the cupboard. His shirts were lying there unattended. T-shirts, pants, jeans, nightwear’s, underwear’s, socks, jackets, kerchief, caps, vests and what more..! He tossed everything in that cupboard with the hope of finding that piece of paper, even though he was sure it won’t be there. Closing the cupboard he looked here and there, all over the room. He checked under the pillows, he removed the bed only to find few Playboys’. He kept them safely on the table since he was in such a hunt for these, last time.


He tried to remember where he had kept the 'note'. It was from office he had got the idea, which he had noted down after almost two hours internet surfing, and had safely kept the piece of paper in his wallet. Wallet! Yeah wallet!! He rushed to the living room. He picked the wallet which was lying down among those DVD's he had rented yesterday. Alas! The wallet contained only a few currencies and a picture of Vaishno Devi, which his first girl friend had given in order to safeguard him from his rash driving. He stood there staring at the photo.


He tried hard to remember where it got misplaced. He very well remembered keeping the note in his wallet. Then there were no instances where he had taken his wallet out. With a hope of finding it somewhere he started his treasure hunt all over again. He went near his laptop, checked his laptop bag, went through all his files kept aside and even checked the pen holder. He was getting agitated. What a worthless guy I am, he thought. It was after a long time he managed to arrange something like that.


Suddenly he remembered, going to the DVD store. While returning the DVD ‘Ice Princess’, what a movie it was, he thought; he remember he had taken the wallet. While giving the cash he sensed something falling down. Damn! That was when the mobile buzzed. It was ‘her’ and he abruptly got engrossed on the talks.


There it was. He got ruffled. The efforts he had taken amidst the tight schedule, even though his manager had given him a deadline for the project status reporting, were lost. He tried to recall what he had written on that piece of paper.


He tried to glean a few words from the internet which could be used as a prompt. A Prompt! One prompt word, which can be a lead for him to write something on his blog.

That is what he wanted, to remove his writer’s block!!

You Ass H@le

“Hello”, he picked up the mobile and whispered lazily. His eyes were finding it hard to open wide. He haven’t had received the call and the mobile was still ringing. He tried hard this time and succeeded to open his eyes open half.


+12158822798


The number seems to be very familiar. One hard try and his eyes were wide open. The screen of his mobile read ‘Sam’. ‘Oh My God, they are having a party”, he got up from the bed. By the time he was about to receive the call, it got disconnected. He sat on the bed lazily staring at the mobile. It was 9 am showing on his clock. ‘So probably it will be around 8 pm over there’, he thought. Sam, Bouncer, Nischu and Iyer were to have a bash over this weekend at Las Vegas. He was expecting a call from US of A, anytime. Ah! Las Vegas, City of Beach, Booze, Babes and yeah, Gambling!!


“You are an Ass hole!! Mother #ucker!! Di@k Head!! Pi#p!! Pe@is Su@ker!!” Shout came out from the other end. ‘Holy Shit! What was that?’ He checked the number again. Yeah it read Sam only. “Hello Sam, How are you and what was all that?”


“You are an Ass hole!! Dog @ucker!! Di@k Head!! Pi#p!! Pu@*y Eater!! We are missing you a lots. Wish you are here.” Sam was screaming. He could easily make out Sam’s tongue slipping in between those swears. A smile bloomed over his face. “So enjoying out there”, he asked. “Yeah doggy, we are totally enjoying out here. We are already done with two bottles of ‘Teachers’. Bouncer and Iyer had gone to fetch two more from the nearby subway. And let me tell this gives you kick like an ass. Oh No! Like a horse. He could hear Sam having a belly laugh. He had never heard him so.


“Dude, don’t mind about all these things. Sam is already on his highest kick with lots of liquor and fun.” That was Nischay on phone. “Yeah man, I very well understand and enjoy too. Rather I was expecting such a call from you all when you guys will be sitting over there on the weekend with the company of some exotic liquor”, he quipped. He could hear Nischay chuckling. “Whatever it is Vinz, you should have been here. We would have more fun then. We miss your presence man! Atleast when we booze!” He could imagine a grin over Nischay’s face after that.


Ten minutes. With a promise of calling back once bouncer and iyer is back with the ‘stock’ Nischay hanged up the call. He could hear Sam singing and wishing him good byes. He was missing badly them, their company and the booze sessions with them. Never knowing when all those golden days will be back and expecting their call to come again, he entered the bathroom for a shower.


“Cheers!!!” He could hear them toasting their drinks.
“Cheers”, he said with a smirk.

The Unknown Girl

I was told she had been informed on the same day.


His mobile was with Govind, my cousin who was there in the hospital. Later Govind told me she used to give miss calls during those hours unaware of the situation. When everything was over and the frequency of her miss calls increased, Govind decided to convey the most difficult thing. The very moment her call came in, Govind picked up the call. She just asked for my brother. “He met with an accident on his way back from office to home. It’s disturbing and sad news”, Govind spit the truth.

He couldn’t hear anything from the other end. It was only a beep sound. She had disconnected the call. Govind didn’t know what to do. Govind was little relieved, even though in despair. At least he let her know about the tragedy, with lots of guts.

But he was wrong. The mobile got miss calls now and then. And that was from the very same number. No body had the courage to pick up the call. Even me!

Later in the night I just surfed through the mobile. I was just curious to know about his contacts. Among them saw her name. Her name featured in all his lists: missed, received and dialled lists. He never had mentioned about her to me. Slowly, there in deep of my minds, a frame was getting shaped of this unknown girl.

Who is she? I wondered, an old friend of my brother?

Maybe!

One thing is sure. She will be having a good relationship with him. Or else why would she give continuous missed calls even though she is aware of the brutal fact that had dawned into all of us. She might be his school mate. I doubt. He was very shy. He never was free while talking to his school friends who were girls. That is what I remember. Neither did he converse much with cousin sisters too. He was very reserved. And if it is from his class I should know her. There is only a little chance for this option.

She might be his colleague. There are chances. I don’t know any one of them. And the banking firm he got into is one of the leading firms in India. They got lots of fresh faces too. Someone from his office; I found this one to be most logical. But again its only four months he is into the firm. How can he develop such a deep relation with her in such a short span of time? Or actually he had?

My thoughts were diversifying. I was getting no clue.

Who is she? Was she just a friend? Or was she a girl friend of his? Someone he used to date with. Or someone, whom, one fine day he will show to me and say, “brother, this is the one.” Or some relation more than all these, which is beyond my understandings? Who knows?

The least thing I can do is to pray for her, to realise the fact that she too is bereaved.She once knew my brother, cared for him and loved him. That is what matters.

Let she find her peace, somehow!

You Have Got A Message !!

“You have got a message”




He jumped from his couch to check the mobile that was kept for charging. On the screen there was a new message awaiting symbol blinking at him, as if, someone was winking his eyes in a naughty manner. Passing on a smile he quickly opened his inbox.


‘Music on demand: 10000 songs, non-stop music! Dial………..’


It didn’t take him much time to throw that message in his trash box, and within a fraction of second his face turned into a shrivelled flower. He checked his inbox once again. His fingers immediately ran into the ‘sent’ folder and he checked all the messages he had sent to her. He verified the recipient number too and assured himself that he had not messed up with the right number.


She might be in roaming area and her ‘about-to-finish’ balance in her pre-paid account will be the reason for the delayed replies, he tried to make up his mind. More over she will be busy with her daily chores and office, he affirmed himself. But still deep inside somewhere he was missing her presence. He was missing her love. He was missing the long talks they used to have earlier. He missed the divinity of the sister-brother relationship they used to nurture.


*********************************************************************************


“She took a new connection few days ago”, his brother said on phone. Rest of the words bounced over his head. He muttered something in a jiffy and hung up the phone. He didn’t want to buy that statement. He felt dizzy. Why should he? Consoled him self. Even if she has got a new number she might have been too busy to message him and inform. She is new in the town and very to new to her phase of job-life. She might have missed to inform. That don’t mean she won’t be missing him. That don’t mean she might not be remembering him.


He smiled to himself. At times he over reacts. What if even she hasn’t messaged him? The relationship that had once developed is definitely going to die. The distance is hardly going to create a gap. He smiled to himself. He laughed at himself for his wild thoughts. It’s not all about messages and mails. Life is like that. You are too busy engaged in your own chores and life, hardly sparing you times to blink your mind for others. But that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. Expressing the love or not showing it doesn’t mean an absence of it. It’s only that it doesn’t show off much.
He took a deep breath. He felt happy for convincing himself.


***********************************************************************************


“You have got a message”


His face bloomed. In a flurry he took the car to the side track: Switched on the parking light. Took the mobile from his pocket and dived into the inbox. “ Your approximate unbilled usage as on 12-01-2008 is Rs.1451.75 INR(Excluding monthly roaming charges and discounts) The last day for bill payment is 18-01-2008 – Airtel”. He didn’t feel like deleting the message. He had lots of them by now. Closing his mobile he let the parking light off and put the first gear.


“She might be busy”, he thought.

Everything Together..!!

I was searching him. Just two minutes back only he was here.


It was very vivid that he cant bear the weight of grief that had grown up disproportionately since yesterday morning. I saw his mother crying out loudly taking his brothers name and calling him back. I saw his sisters sobbing in a corner. I saw his paternal aunties breaking down once the body was brought back from the hospital. I saw almost everyone shedding out tears for his brother. But he didn’t sprinkle even one drop of tear.
Yeah, his eyes had become watery. His eyes were so red as if it was a hot charcoal. What an irony! A red hot charcoal covered with a pool of tears. His whole face was swelled but he didn’t drop a tear. I could sense his feelings when I sat besides him near his brother’s corpse. I could see him staring at his brothers body lying there covered with garlands kept as a gesture of condolences, but he never cried. I could feel the presence of a dam of emotions and grief ready to explode due to the excess load its carrying.

There were his aunties, sisters, uncles, friends, brothers, neighbours lamenting and mourning. The whole atmosphere was filled with sounds of suffocating whispers and smell of tears that everyone had shed. Nothing affected him. Neither he looked at anyone nor did he utter anything. He completed all the last rights for his brother. He did everything so religiously so that his brother’s soul gets peace and a nice departure from this world.


All these came back to my thoughts. The whole day came back and flashbacked in my brain. I was still searching for him. I don’t know whether I was worried. I knew where he could be at this point of time. I send my cousin to find him over there. Two minutes passed. Five more minutes passed. He didn’t turn up. I panicked. Without informing anyone I went myself in search for them to that place. That place, where my both brothers used to have a puff of cigarette together, after the dinner. That place, where they used to talk about their friends, girls, used to argue about silly things, laugh on one-liner jokes and funny incidents. I strode towards that room with thousands of thoughts and worries over ruling my inner conscience.


The moment I neared that room I found my cousin sitting, giving a support to his chin with his hands. For a second my breath stopped. Then, gasping, I asked him what happened. He looked into my eyes. I could see nothing but sadness in his eyes. Through gestures he asked me not to utter a single word and showed me the way to the room. The same room where I expected my brother would be present.


I peeped into the room slowly. There he was lying down his eyes closed, but in a position staring at something. I advanced more and found the most emotional scene I had ever seen ever in my life. He was holding a photo frame in which they both were sitting and smiling. And another one of their school times was kept close to his heart and covered with his hand. I lost all the strength. Oh God, what an examination? I could feel my body melting. I know how much I try I cant replace the loss that’s happened to him.




He lost his twin brother with whom he shared a womb for nine months, quarrelled and cried for the breast milk his mother would share, with whom he came to this world for the first time, with whom he had done all those home works while studying , with whom he had played cricket, with whom he had mischievously stolen the sweets his mother had kept safe, with whom he had shared his first crush, with whom he had competed for marks in progress reports, with whom he had fought for the television programme he wanted to watch, with whom he tried the taste of cigarette and coughed the hell out of his heart, with whom he had the experience of having chilled beer for the first time, with whom he had shared his career agonies, with whom he had confided many and many things.


The truth was stinking. The fact was bruising me like a ferocious predator pawing on his prey. I was bleeding internally. After a moment, silently came out the room.


Later when we were on bed, I stared at him. I felt he wanted to share a lot with someone. And I was lying down there helplessly.


I just hugged him, hugged him very tightly. He was deep asleep. I closed my eyes. And my hands were tight on him.

Perspective...

Everyone have their own perspective regarding each and every matter in this world. Some may chord well in their perspectives and some others may not. Who is right and who is wrong; nobody can say that. One of the main things in having a perspective is our own confidence in what we believe.


We cannot expect everyone in this world concord with us nor differ with us. One thing which we believe is right may be wrong to someone. Someone may criticize us for something we do or say and yet some others will be full of applause. Whatever the situation is there is no need to be neither complaisant nor dejected.


We can see many people not daring to express themselves in front of others fearing getting belabored by others. Yeah, it’s a fact that human beings yearn for plaudits. But in this world, consisting of innumerable ilks of people, we can’t expect everyone to praise us.


Last week I went through an article. It explains very well how everyone’s perspective is so different from others and everyone will be right according to their own point of view. The passage is as follows


Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey? “Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw
it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.


Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.


It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.


This story really depicts the need for being clear with one’s conscience. One should be very confident about his conscience irrespective of the number of people who concord with you or differ with you. Learn from others mistakes and, take guidance and frame your own perspectives. Then the only thing left is to trust yourself and your conscience. Definitely, peace will be yours…..

Circus.....

“Lets go for circus.” when he said that she couldn’t believe. She sat like that only. Didn’t raise her head nor did react. She knew he was trying to cheer her up. It’s almost two weeks that she expressed her desire to watch the circus. He not only discarded the plea but got irritated blaming it to be a silly thing to do.


“Circus is meant for kids” he first said. He never was ready to come out of his prejudistic notions.

She could very well remember that day. It was really very hectic day for her and in the evening when he came she told him about her friends had been visited the new circus in town. She was ten when she went to see the circus for the first time. That day she really was in heaven seeing all horses, elephants and monkeys doing various tricks and playing games. When she saw dogs playing soccer inside the ring she couldn’t help anything but to keep her eyes wide open. The intermittent entry by the jokers made her laugh like anything. All she told to him. He was listening to her. She thought this is a chance


“Shall we go this weekend?” she waited for his reply. He didn’t say anything. He was looking at the traffic on road and thinking something. Normally he don’t like keeping on asking something. That she knows very well. But since she was very much excited about the circus she dared to ask again.


“I asked something. Can we?” He looked at her. “It’s for kids. And not only that I don’t have time too.” He turned his face towards the street back. “But….” She didn’t complete. He gave a stare that stopped her tongue from throwing anymore comments. She knows he is getting irritated. She had hoped for this kind of behavior only. She is also like that. Keeps on asking him every time.


It’s almost a week back. Now she can’t believe actually he had asked her whether to go for the circus. She had cleared the wish that day itself when he answered back with a cold stare.


“Are you serious?” She asked with a tincture of disbelief. He was standing in aloof. Yesterday they had a big argument followed by a fight on phone. She knew he will do something to make up with her. She expected a hot cup of coffee in the coffee shop or just fried Jilebi from the road side stall. He knew her tastes. Bu this question was totally unexpected. “Are you?” She repeated. He didn’t look at her. He never does when he does things like this. It seems he never want to show he cares for her. He kick started the bike and looked at her with a covering smile. She couldn’t stop her laughter. She sat on the bike. “Let’s go.”


She was still laughing. And that’s what he wanted also.

Sreeju...

I had stopped blogging once i had to prioritize certain things. Now Am coming back to blogging. Everyone ho read my logs, commented on them, apreciated through mails-a heartfelt sorry to discontinue them.Hope i can continue this blogging a lot more fresh this time.And my dear blog friends,hope to enjoy your blogs..


So te first blog of this year,I am going t start with a birthday greetings.I am dedicating this write-up to my dear friend SREEJU.


One person who befriended with me so fast. If am right I met got introduced to her when I was in third year celebrating traditional day in DY. She was one year junior to me. What first caught my attention is that she spoke Malayalam so fluently and with the proper Native accent to me that I couldn’t believe she was brought up in Pune. All my other mallu friends who are brought up in Pune used to stammer when spoke in Malayalam.


Second thing I want to write is her 'bindas' attitude. We were 'reading hall' mates during our study leaves. Apart from other girls whom I know, she never used to crib on study matters. She never used to take extra tensions for results, but always tried her best during those eleventh hour studies..Girl..Way to go! I think she will never forget those days. And am happy she is now having a good time with her Job. Those canteen chats and corridor talks with her in the group were something I wish would repeat again and again.


Another quality of hers I wish to share is her hospitality and grace. I was a regular at her place and she and her mom every time treated us with mouth watering chicken dishes and all. And those ‘samosas’ and ‘vadapavs’ we used to have from the shop near to her place were yummy but only less to her charm.


Another quality is her smiling face. I think I haven’t met a person who always mix with any kind of people and always keeps on chortling in the group. She is so enthu that I really enjoyed organizing events like Sangamam with Her. She is a true sport friend. And the care she gives. If I want to lean on some1 for help am sure who should it be.


Anyways not writing anything more since its becoming like an essay. Am really happy to be her friend and really cherishes her friendship. Wishing her all happiness in this world and hope she realizes her dreams-even the minutest to the mightiest- in coming days. Happy Birthday Sreeju!!!