Circus.....

“Lets go for circus.” when he said that she couldn’t believe. She sat like that only. Didn’t raise her head nor did react. She knew he was trying to cheer her up. It’s almost two weeks that she expressed her desire to watch the circus. He not only discarded the plea but got irritated blaming it to be a silly thing to do.


“Circus is meant for kids” he first said. He never was ready to come out of his prejudistic notions.

She could very well remember that day. It was really very hectic day for her and in the evening when he came she told him about her friends had been visited the new circus in town. She was ten when she went to see the circus for the first time. That day she really was in heaven seeing all horses, elephants and monkeys doing various tricks and playing games. When she saw dogs playing soccer inside the ring she couldn’t help anything but to keep her eyes wide open. The intermittent entry by the jokers made her laugh like anything. All she told to him. He was listening to her. She thought this is a chance


“Shall we go this weekend?” she waited for his reply. He didn’t say anything. He was looking at the traffic on road and thinking something. Normally he don’t like keeping on asking something. That she knows very well. But since she was very much excited about the circus she dared to ask again.


“I asked something. Can we?” He looked at her. “It’s for kids. And not only that I don’t have time too.” He turned his face towards the street back. “But….” She didn’t complete. He gave a stare that stopped her tongue from throwing anymore comments. She knows he is getting irritated. She had hoped for this kind of behavior only. She is also like that. Keeps on asking him every time.


It’s almost a week back. Now she can’t believe actually he had asked her whether to go for the circus. She had cleared the wish that day itself when he answered back with a cold stare.


“Are you serious?” She asked with a tincture of disbelief. He was standing in aloof. Yesterday they had a big argument followed by a fight on phone. She knew he will do something to make up with her. She expected a hot cup of coffee in the coffee shop or just fried Jilebi from the road side stall. He knew her tastes. Bu this question was totally unexpected. “Are you?” She repeated. He didn’t look at her. He never does when he does things like this. It seems he never want to show he cares for her. He kick started the bike and looked at her with a covering smile. She couldn’t stop her laughter. She sat on the bike. “Let’s go.”


She was still laughing. And that’s what he wanted also.

Sreeju...

I had stopped blogging once i had to prioritize certain things. Now Am coming back to blogging. Everyone ho read my logs, commented on them, apreciated through mails-a heartfelt sorry to discontinue them.Hope i can continue this blogging a lot more fresh this time.And my dear blog friends,hope to enjoy your blogs..


So te first blog of this year,I am going t start with a birthday greetings.I am dedicating this write-up to my dear friend SREEJU.


One person who befriended with me so fast. If am right I met got introduced to her when I was in third year celebrating traditional day in DY. She was one year junior to me. What first caught my attention is that she spoke Malayalam so fluently and with the proper Native accent to me that I couldn’t believe she was brought up in Pune. All my other mallu friends who are brought up in Pune used to stammer when spoke in Malayalam.


Second thing I want to write is her 'bindas' attitude. We were 'reading hall' mates during our study leaves. Apart from other girls whom I know, she never used to crib on study matters. She never used to take extra tensions for results, but always tried her best during those eleventh hour studies..Girl..Way to go! I think she will never forget those days. And am happy she is now having a good time with her Job. Those canteen chats and corridor talks with her in the group were something I wish would repeat again and again.


Another quality of hers I wish to share is her hospitality and grace. I was a regular at her place and she and her mom every time treated us with mouth watering chicken dishes and all. And those ‘samosas’ and ‘vadapavs’ we used to have from the shop near to her place were yummy but only less to her charm.


Another quality is her smiling face. I think I haven’t met a person who always mix with any kind of people and always keeps on chortling in the group. She is so enthu that I really enjoyed organizing events like Sangamam with Her. She is a true sport friend. And the care she gives. If I want to lean on some1 for help am sure who should it be.


Anyways not writing anything more since its becoming like an essay. Am really happy to be her friend and really cherishes her friendship. Wishing her all happiness in this world and hope she realizes her dreams-even the minutest to the mightiest- in coming days. Happy Birthday Sreeju!!!

Wise sayings...

There wont he even a single person in this world who hasn’t used an adage in his talks.
There wont be a single person who hasn’t heard it from others.
In short, aphorisms are part of human beings as are food and shelter.


Though all of us are aware of such proverbs, its origin is not vivid.
Whoever made them, had the intension to inspire fellow beings or motivate them or guide them. When taken one adage at a time for a situation is advisable. But one thing I have noticed is that some of them contradict with some others.


The best example is ‘Look before you leap’ and ‘one who hesitates is lost’
Both of them, when used separately put forward a cautious warning. But a person knowing both the proverbs can find himself befuddled. So a clever person can conclude ‘Look before you leap but don’t hesitate.’


Another one I came across is ‘The more, the merrier’ and ‘Two’s company, three’s crowd’. What should one infer from these two. Maybe three will be the criteria for ‘more’. We may redefine it as ‘Two’s company, three’s crowd and more than three, the merrier.’ Yeah, now it sounds perfect.


The same confusion arises when it comes to the famous adage, always heard, ‘Life is what you make it’. We can find a contradicting one to it. ‘What will be, will be.’ Now this is something I really get pissed off. Those who believe in destiny go for the second and those who don’t, opt the first one. So sometimes wise sayings becomes conditional. Yeah, I repeat, conditional.


People who come across the famous dictum ‘A silent man is a wise one’ is surely going to get confused when he will hear someone say ‘A man without words is a man without thoughts.’ So a silence is presence of no words. Does that mean a wise man is of no thoughts. Definitely not! Again these phrases are conditional. A silent man is a wise one when he chooses to remain silent from arguments with foolish people. But always remaining silent doesn’t make him wise, but thoughtless.


It’s really fun to see lot of pairs like these. So the only way to escape from all these confusions is, I dare to conjecture, is to follow these idioms individually applying it to the perfect situation you are into. Not blindly following it every time.


Last but not least just check these two epigrams.
‘Action speaks louder than words’
‘The pen is mightier than the sword’
Confused? There are more, many more.

Love...

Love


One of the complicated things in this world, yet the most sought thing. Nobody would actually prefer to define that labyrinthine mesh, but only to love and be loved.


What is love? I don’t think anyone in this world can give a widely accepted answer for that. It’s defined in a numerous way.


Where is love? The answer can be given in a single word. Everywhere.
Love is there when two people hold their hands and share their lives.
Love is there when mother holds a newborn baby in her hand.
Love is there when a father sees his kid in hands of nurse when she brings out her-him from the labor room.
Love is where when a brother keeps the half of his toffee for his kid sister.
Love is where when a sister keeps on worrying for her brother’s safe return after the party, late night.
Love is there when a boss peacefully makes his sub-ordinate understands where he had gone wrong and feels elated when he corrects it.
Love is there when a friend accompanies you in silence when you are down, during your solitude.
Love is there when your consort hugs you when you try to eke all adversities and try to perform all your onus.
Love is there when you help a blind woman desisting to cross a heavy traffic road due to fear.
Love is there when you pat a stranger who looks very down, just for the sake of bolstering him.


I would like to share something on the 'nature of love'. I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with a little water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love."


This was how I saw it : "As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers around it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, Love will retrieve from you.


For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there is people you love, allow them to be free beings. Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand. It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."


- SWAMI VIVEKANANDA

Roles..

Woke up in the morning. Got a hot cup of coffee from his inamorata. “Good morning, dear” A perfect hubby rose within him. Came down-stairs. Picked up newspaper and ran through headlines. Came his grandfather. The grandson in him passed those front pages to him with reverence.

After finishing his reading, in fact skimming, he got ready to jog. Before he got out, his jog-company came. “Good morning bro” Started jogging with her, now being a good brother. Half-a- hour. Panting came both back home. He had a hot bath in a quick and went to the kid’s room. Pulling those blankets, he woke up those kids. “Get up and get fresh sweeties” A loving father he became.

Switching to BBC’s, CNN’s and NDTV’s he started his breakfast. He loves his mom’s hot ghee dosa’s. “Ma, one more roasted”, he said. An affectionate son he was then. His uncle joined him on table. “What’s hot today?” uncle enquired. “Dosa’s and few political imbroglio’s” the nephew in him tried to sound funny.

“Where are my socks?” lamented an annoyed husband. Finding it himself he passed a flying kiss to his wife who came running. Came to the porch. “Sunil, get the car” a serious, yet a casual boss. Reached the office in fifteen minutes. Some wished their boss and many others greeted their colleague. In his cabin; went through all appointments. After an hour, attended a meeting with some business executives who had a visit over there. Few hours of talks, and then concluding them with some deals like a clear-cut professional.

Work hours ended. Got back home and got fresh. Kids are back from school and had done with home works. An outing with family to attend his best friend’s marriage anniversary. Gifted a tight hug and wished him a long married and happy life. Had a long talk with his dude friend with a sip of booze. Went through all those sunny college days. A friend in him was awake. Flashing through those good old days, both were enjoying a lot.

Reached back home before midnight. Just before entering gate, saw his neighbor and their family returning from somewhere. The polite neighbor in him waved his hands towards them. As soon as they entered, they realized the phone ringing. He went and picked up the call. It was from America. His brother and his family. His nephews were happy to talk with their uncle though they talk almost alternate days. Their mom also had talks with this adorable brother-in-law. After all chats he went for a chilled shower and then to sleep. He was tired at the end.

What all roles one has to play in our daily life….
Its very true somebody had said, “Life is a drama and we the actors”

Three Rings...

Got up and sat on the bed itself. Sunrays were peeking into the room. She tried to remember yesterday’s night. It was raining heavily and thunders. Wore the slippers and came downstairs. Papa and mamma busy with their works, sometimes giving furious stares to each other. Belligerent atmosphere. Sister, sitting on sofa, hold a book and daydreaming. Television was on, and some news channel on it.

She went to bathroom. Had a brush. Freed her from the claws of her cloths. Looked in the mirror. Her well toned body. She moved her fingers whole over. ‘But for what?’ She thought. When the soul is dead why the need of a body? Took a quick shower. Drops fell on her and the chill pierced her body. Dried herself and came out. A Zephyr breezed through the windows. She never felt the bliss as she used to.

Came to the dining hall. Dad and sis were already there, but muted. Mamma kept the breakfast on the table. Dad asked for the tea. “Did you send the money to my mom yesterday?” Dad said something, mom continued and dad…… She got peeved. Looked her sister. Gazing to the hot bread, she never took any tensions. Her face read she is stronger. It took only seconds. Some sound of breaking. Dad skedaddled in a hurry. Mamma continued her work with tears on her eyes.

Why the hell tears? Marriage comprises of three rings-engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering. The joke lingered her thoughts, which someone had joked. Don’t know about the first two rings but yes, the third one it does exist. She stared at the plate her father had left out, filled. It again started raining, heavily.

Silence...

“Good morning, Sir”

He just nodded at me. And passed a week smile. I wondered why? From past three days I have been noticing. He is like that.

“I hate silence” He used to say. Aged fifty-five, one of the senior most people in our company. Assistant General Manger. Vigorous when it comes about work. Most diligent person. Gives high importance to punctuality. Never will compromise on failures. Anytime he is ready to work hard in lieu of enjoyments. A hard-core believer in ‘Work is God’ adage.

I haven seen him on his chair for more than half an hour continuously. He is always active running here and there, managing his subordinates, and instructing supervisors, monitoring workers and all. His knowledge and experience could have made him revered.

But everyone wanted him out of the company. He was very egoistic. He always gave a deaf ear towards his sub ordinates opinions. “When I was here……., when I was there……..” he was a bit boisterous. He was dedicated to work in such a level that he tried to put his finger on whatever went in front of him. He wanted every work done under his knowledge. This created a stir between him and many senior managers. But being AGM nobody dared to question neither him nor report about him, but fulminated behind him.

This was the picture till few days back. Now he neither rises his voice nor run here and there. He neither puts his head in others matter nor aggressive. Everyone in office noticed the change. Nobody wished to ask him why? Nobody cared to enquire about his current condition. I couldn’t stand this change. Very junior to him, I knew I don’t have to show any ego in front of him. And he haven done anything to cross my way of work. I asked him.

His wife got some mental problems. She has been hospitalized for past five days. He conferred to me. I could only do but console him. And he was very happy that at least I asked him. I hold his hands. Couldn’t speak much. In fact, was at oblivion what to say? Wishing him for her speedy recovery I came back to my cabin.

I thought for a while. Whatever a person is, however he might be, once someone of his beloved is in distress, that men do change.

And yeah, that’s the time when you realize the need of a friend. Life is not only revolving around family and work.

Rakhi...Gift....

He was speeding on his bike. It was heavy traffic in the roads. That’s when he loves to speed. He get a kind of ecstasy while overtaking a speeding car through his left side and cut another vehicle from the right giving a hiccup to the driver coming from the opposite side. It was around six when he left to meet a friend.

He was enjoying his ride and watching all the girls out there in the streets. I wondered as if what happened today, streets are filled with voluptuous females. Glanced to the crowded shops where whole gamut of females of all age was there. He wondered whether it’s ‘Upto-50%-Discount-Sale’ going on all shops. Suddenly he saw, in between all the females, whole range of ‘Rakhi’ dangling in front of the shops. He suddenly applied brakes and the vehicle came to a halt. Oh! It’s tomorrow. ‘Raksha bandhan.’ Didn’t get any gifts for sisters, he thought.

Checked his wallet. Found only two Gandhi papers written hundred on them. Without a second thought he raced to the nearby ATM, hoping to withdraw few more. Before he reached he could see a long queue coming out from the ATM building. Without a hiatus he joined the line. Everyone will be a brother of someone who forgot to get the gift; he tried to convince himself. By the time he entered the ATM it was seven. Poor soul of ATM. It might have been a worn out day for him. Got the cash and without a bye he hurried to ‘Archies.’

Cards, Oh no! It sucks. From ages when there were wishes they had these cards. My sisters will read it and poor card with all its golden, sentimental wordings; will find some place near the dustbin a week after. He went on searching for something else. Perfumes. No, already they got many of them. Soft toys. Uh! They are not kiddies to play with them. Nay! Not anything of that sort. Kept searching. Pens, show pieces, necklaces, bracelets, earrings, rings, nose rings, watches; Gosh I am fed up, he thought. Came out from there. Explored ‘Hallmark’ shop and many others. Got more and more bemused.

Went to the sweet shop. It was well lit. Very crowded. Each and everyone busy buying something for their brother or sister. Some buying chocolates in bunch and some buying laddu’s. Some buying Barfi’s and yet some others buying dry fruits. Everyone busy selecting the best and packing it with blazing covers; He still stood standstill not knowing what to buy. They eat sweets everyday. What the hell exciting in it, he thought. Being not able to makeup a decision came back home. Kept on cogitating the whole night about the gift and slipped off into sleep.


Done with his daily chores he got ready to way to office. Suddenly he saw his sisters ready with their rakhi’s. Smiling at him, they came to him. He looked at them. Water drops were falling from their hair tips. They are well dressed and hold a plate on their palms. They were ready to do the rituals. His heart pounded like a horse being left for race. They tied their rakhi’s on his right hand. Everyone was looking them. The holy ritual of bonding themselves to each other. Brother assuring a life long protection of his sisters. But he was thinking something else. Gift! What will I give them? They didn’t ask anything. But still. He went and picked up his wallet. I will give them cash. Let them have anything they want. No, that’s escapism. Closed the wallet.

After some pleasantries and laughter he left for his office. The whole route he felt sad for not finding an appropriate gift for them. The whole hours in office he kept on thinking what to get for them. While he was doing work, when he was having his lunch, when he was talking to his colleagues, when his boss was ordering him, when he was having his tea break; he kept on thinking what to give?

He wanted to give them something, something that no other brother can give. He wanted to make them feel they are very wanted for him. He wanted to make them realize how much he cared about his sisters; he wanted to make them feel proud to get such a brother. For that all these, materialistic gifts are not proper. They can’t render the emotion he hold for them. Confused and more confused he went to some shop. After some time spending over there he left the shop with a huge cover in his hand. His face was not elated. This is not the gift he really wanted to gift them. This doesn’t depict the real love for them.

Oh good gracious! LOVE and CARE is very hard to convince.

Sharing...

Ajit felt giddiness. He wanted to share them. Thoughts were speeding up across his conscience without a break. He felt as if he was going to have a collision. An outburst. The whole day he was thinking about that only. Totally worried he thought he would get some sort of relief if he shares to her. There he was standing in the bus stop, awaiting Anna.

Minutes passed and he could see Anna coming on her bike. He felt as if she were coming in slow motion. His head started spinning. He wished she were approaching him in a jet plane. He felt someone had paused the whole scene for some time. He felt she is riding at a speed of 5 km\hr. He could sense a whirlwind above his head.

She came. Ajit was half relieved. Yes, she is here. She will understand me. Since she loves me she can anytime afford hearing to my tensions. He thought. She will be happy to listen to him. She will sit besides him and will offer her shoulder to support his weighing head. She will pat him on his face; wipe his tears, which are on the verge of flowing down through his cheeks, he thought. She will hold hands and share his words. Though she can’t help him out she will sit besides him silently. Ajit thought.

Anna parked the vehicle. Came near to Ajit. Sat besides him. She is looking enervated, Ajit thought. He looked at her, “What happened?” Anna stared him. She felt someone is there to share her thoughts. She holds his hands. She mumbled about the office tensions, crazy things she does, her family problems, and her tensions. He listened. He forgot about everything. He can’t see her in tension. He wanted to her to be happy. He tried to crack jokes. Acted fool in front of her. Started teasing playfully. Made her laugh. Gave her a boost to get self-motivated. Went for a walk with her. He forgot about his griefs by making her happy. Time went by. She went back home He to his place

Ajit got fresh. Sat to read something. Thoughts started pouring. Tensions and frustrations started to creep in. He wanted to share. He took the phone. He called her, Anna. She was so elated to pick up the phone. She started babbling on all the topics. He paused his thoughts. He felt good when he heard her laughing. He joined her laughs. He joined her jokes.

He always wanted to her to be happy. He always found his joy in her happiness.

In-security....

He loved her very much. He found her to be very caring. He knows it is she who will understand him. He knew she always listened to him. He knew she loved him a lot. He knew at any time, any day anywhere she will come there to help him. But at times he felt little bit in-secured. He found her developing a friendship at cost of him. She made him convince it is not like that. He believed her. But deep in his heart, a tincture of that in-security feeling was there, buried but smoking out.

Whenever they used to fight upon this matter she always did say, “I never change my priorities in relationships.” But he started feeling she does. That too, at his own cost; something, which he never can afford to adjust. Every day, every talk do ends in verbal fights. Then sleepless nights of mental torture. Once felt insecured, its difficult to regain the original charm in that relationship.